Darvish Dooms Dodgers in World Series Washout

trampled by Dom

November 2, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith

What was the saddest thing about last night’s loss?

The fact that everyone in the stadium knew that Darvish was a bad choice to start Game 7 (The Astros murdered him in his previous start…the terrified look on his face may have been another hint.)

Forget about the “deer in the headlights” look, it was more like “kitten in front of a speeding semi”…

We assumed he’d be on a short leash, instead the nerd-turds upstairs and Roberts watched him cough up 5 GODDAMN RUNS before they yanked him…DOPES!!!!

Was Roberts asleep? What the hell was that? How could they be so fucking stupid?

Bad management, plain and simple…the front office pushes most of the buttons so you’ve gotta blame Fart-hand and FRIED-MAN too…

The Dodgers parked themselves on the bases and couldn’t manufacture anything…garbage…


Was this season a failure?

Absolutely…the team deserved better leadership in Game 7…they stink on paper, it’s the players that carried them this season (let’s face it, they overachieved) not the dopes upstairs who chose Darvish over ANY OTHER PITCHER ON THE DODGERS’ STAFF…

What’s next?

Doubtful they’ll be as good next year…In terms of pitching, Wood will never replicate what he did this season…Hill might be okay, there’s Kersh, of course…but no one else…do you honestly think Chris Taylor is going to be able to top this season? Nein, Klein…Bellinger and Seager bombed in the WS…Kringle stunk too.

What are you guys going to do?

After we drown our sorrows by jumping into a pool of Jim Beam? We’ll take a few months off, then back to Tequila Towers in AZ…just the thought of it hurts our collective stomachs…

I can’t bear the thought of waiting a whole ‘nuther year for this shit…

Yeah, Roberts & The Goobs really mucked up Game 7…revolting…Roberts & The Goobs, however, may just be the best band name of all time…

I guess the pampered scribes can stop schlobbing his knob now…


Is this the final article of the year for rascalsoftheravine?

No, we can’t go out bitter and angry like this…we’ll have a season breakdown next week…our keen analysis will…make you laugh (hopefully)

I’m crushed…last night was fucking awful…

It’s like Dom DeLuise and Rosanne Barr are stomping on our collective souls…trampled!

Until next time, girth-seekers!

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