Panico? No! Joc Jacks Giant Jolt To Even Series

Joc Pederson listens to this

October 29, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith

Pederson’s a nut. He chomps Almond Joy not Mounds. He listens to Spike Jones records. He does Groucho Marx imitations.

His screwball rah-rah antics have been a gas to peep over the course of the season…in or out, Pederson is always a boss teammate…we nearly shed a tear when they sent him down…it appeared J.P.’s days with the Dodgers were done…until…

Ka-boooom! Joc jolts a three-run blast to help Los Dogs take Game 4!! A five-run ninth inning = winning!

Easy, Sheen…

Did you guys dig Schmenley last night?

Jansen? Oh, he’s back…

Bellinger? Awake! Drake? Not interested…

Yeah, Drake sucks…

Wood = good! He nearly made it through six without coughing up a single hit…

Yeah, he gave up that homer (prompting one of our staffers to kick over his box of wine) but overall he pitched well.

Who’s pitching tonigh—ah, I can’t pretend to not know that Kershaw is on the hill tonight in Houston!

King Kersh will pitch in the biggest game of his life today at 5:00.

Will the Astros try to rattle him with some kind of goofy gamesmanship?

Yeah, now is when they’ll get their revenge for the Yacht Rock the Dodgers blasted during their batting practice before Game 1…they’ll delay his start or something…

With a performance by the Reverend Horton Heat?

Haha, if only…

Didn’t they shoot the TV show Cheaters in Houston?

Why yes they did, look for Joey Greco and his leather trench coat in the crowd tonight…

Man, that show was fun…the confrontations were wild, but I dug the spying/stalking and the creepy narrator’s leering tone…

Now you’re creeping us out…

Who’s pitching for the ‘stros??

Dallas Keuchel. His name is Dallas. He’s pitching in Houston. We find this hysterical.

Will his wife El Paso and his dog Galveston be on hand to cheer him on as well?

Yes…his son Austin and his sister Corpus Christi will be there too…

Will Beaumont (his father) attend? What about his mother, Katy?

Alright, alright, enough already…

ARE THE DODGERS REALLY TWO VICTORIES AWAY FROM THE BIG ENCHILADA?

It’s “whole enchilada” but it is a strange phrase anyway…why not “the big hamburger” or the “giant pizza”?

Whatever the outcome, it will happen AT THE RAVINE!!!!

If the Dodgers win it all we vow to eat an entire bag of candy corn!!! Well…we’d probably eat it anyway…we kind of like candy corn…

Until next time, mirth-seekers!!!

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