Darvish Doomed in Game 3 Gloom-Tomb, Will Los Dogs Survive?

houston baseball

October 27, 2017  by Shannon Michael Smith

Game 2 spew FIRST

Did Dave go nerd-turd? “Can’t Buy A Thrill” Hill ousted with a vaudeville cane after 4?

Yes. It’s what’s done them right, by gawd, all season long…

Is it over?

Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? (oh, you knew that crap was coming…)

Nein, my shottttzeeeee…the Dodgers only need to win one to bring it back to the land of the grand.

Sucks that Mary Hart isn’t in Houston…would you bone her if the opportunity arose?


She is a classy, elegant woman…she shouldn’t have to endure the cave-like misogynistic ramblings of…yes, we’d hit it.

Why hasn’t the Rev. Horton Heat thrown out a first pitch in that train depot they call a ballpark?

It truly is a travesty, we witnessed the genius of the Full Custom Gospel Sounds tour at the Whiskey A-Go-Go in ’93…the mofo is from Houston, right?

To hell with it all, we’re in the gull-darn World Series, aint nothing gonna break my stride, ain’t nothin–


Okay, okay…So what’s next?

Alex Woodchuck will pitch the game of his life.

D’ya really think so?

(whistles softly, walks away)

Huh? That’s just screenplay terminology, what do you mean whistles soft—

Lighten up, Francessssssss…Dodgers shall prevail.

Love that confidence! Is it true poor Dave Vass-egg is doomed to a trailer in Lubb-cock?

Yes. We’ve kicked Dave in the nuts all season….it’s all in mean-spirited fun, we kinda like the guy and his babbling non-professional ways…in all truth the guy works his keeester off…

Wood tomorrow…fuck…will this go well?

Los Dogs shall survive, amigo…better than Gloria Gaynor…shame on you K-EARTH for driving that fucking song into the ground, Jesus Christ we can never listen to that song again without wanting to rip our eyes ou—

Until next time, mirth-seekers!


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