Karma Kills Cubs As Dodgers Head To World Series

my hero

October 19, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith

Pssst…hey, Cubs. Next time you want to raise a flag and pass out rings in front of the team you beat to get the World Series (read “Classless Cubs Rub It In At Wrigley” for more info Steamin’ Shan) , think on tonight’s whoopin…

Are the Dodgers really headed to the World Series for the first time since 1888?

Um, no…there was no World Series in 1888…

You lie, Larry King!

He’s all jacked up on Lipitor and E&J Brandy, you can’t believe a word he says…what about King Kersh though, huh! What about freaking Keeeekaaayyyyy!

Hernandez went all Reggie Jackson, what gives?

There’s always an unlikely hero…

Like John Ritter in Hero At Large?

Exactly…

Bring on Aaron Judge and his bucky beavers…it it true what Petros says? Does he really floss his teeth with the giant steel sea chains they tie to anchors?

Yep.

Isn’t Sea Chains an album by Beck?

No.

Aren’t you guys freaking out?!?!? World fucking Series for Los Dogs!!!!

We’re all kind of standing around dumbstruck like Kevin Bacon in She’s Having A Baby…

Can I come over and hang at rascalsoftheravine headquarters and listen to The Seeds and party with you guys?

Absolutely.

I know a couple of Puerto Rican girls that’s just dyin’ to meet you…we gonna bring a case of wine, Hey, let’s go mess and fool around, you know, like we used to…

Cocaine and Some Girls, check.

Are you weeping copious tears like that stick lady in Barton Fink?

You got us. Sniff. Since 1988…in the words of Saint Etienne, we CARNT SLEEP

Dave Roberts for Presidente!!!

Easy, now…

I’d even hug Fart Anxiety or FRIED_MAN right now! 

You are drunk…

Until next time, mirth-seekers!!!

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