Injury Bug Bites As Dodgers Chill Phills

rascalsoftheravine's jam

September 21, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith

They stepped on Bellinger’s balls. They tried to break the tiny bones in Justin Turner’s hand. They booed Santa Claus…

Yet, Los Dogs prevailed in The Athens of America, 5-4.

Bring on the Hated Ones.

Is Turner okay?

Turner was hit by a pitch and ended up with a bone bruise. Those hurt. Some drunk jerk in a purple truck nearly ran over one of our staffers in front of a Der Wienerschnitzel once…bone bruise on the shin…no fun.

Ethier hit a home run!

Yeah, he’s been huge off the bench…could this mean the return of Andre’s foodie blog, Dining With Dre?

Will the Dodgers clinch at home tomorrow?

Yes, but only if Dieter Ruehle plays “(Ain’t Nothin’ Gonna) Break My Stride” by Matthew Wilder.

Who’s pitching?

The old wide receiver from Notre Dame, Jeff Samardzzijjjazazzjjjajzzarrrrjjzzzzjjzzza…

Son of Sam! Who’s hurling for the Dodgers?

Rich “Dill” Hill, a man obsessed with Vlasic Pickles…

You just know that pelican on the jar is riddled with ticks…

Yeah, but he talks like Groucho Marx and pretends that the pickles are cigars…kind of like Monica Lewinsky!

Until next time, mirth-seekers!

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