Dodgers Clinch Postseason Berth, Prepare For First-Round Exit

matt moore's second single

September 13, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith

The losing streak has been struck!

King Kersh put the kibosh on another long losing streak as the Dodgers clinched a postseason berth in Fran-Fran last night. Final score: Dodgers 5, Giants 3…Fans are still extremely skeptical of this team’s chances in the playoffs, though…even Little Orphan Annie has stopped believing.

Los Dogs have proven that it’s easy to beat them and have even provided blueprints in the form of weeks of tape for other teams to study for the postseason…way to end the year, Blue Spew…speaking of Blue Spew, we used to drink this blue-raspberry Slurpee/Icee type-thingy at the Aloha Roller Rink on Blossom Hill Road back in ’78…don’t let anyone say we don’t provide the hard-hitting facts at this blog! Yes Cheap Trick and ELO were featured prominently at Aloha…

The sad sack fact is, the Dodgers are going to limp into this postseason looking very little like the team that dominated after the All-Star break…another year, another first-round washout…Calgon, take us away!

How about them Rams!

Exactly, all eyes are in L.A. are trained toward the NFL now…the Dodgers have been completely unwatchable for a few weeks…aren’t New Order playing at the bowl on Monday?

Are you ready for some postseason baseball?

No.

Aren’t you guys fired up to see how Los Dogs can handle—

Nope.

Who do you think the Dodgers will matchup with in the first round?

Is Adam-12 still streaming on Amazon?

C’mon! Show a little life!

Look, the Dodgers need to show us something…as of now, we’d rather watch Flipper re-runs…

Who’s pitching tonight?

Lou Darvish, Yu’s fat, cigar chomping cousin from New York will take the hill in Yu’s place as he’s returned to Japan for a Metal Gear convention…

What about for the hated ones?

Matt Moore (winner of the Trini Lopez lookalike contest) will take the hill for Fran-Fran…

Is Calixte a border town near Calexico?

Yes.

Has Tim Federowicz ever done time in a Federal Prison?

Yes, he makes all the homemade wine in the Giants’ dugout…

Is Jarrett Parker one of the Parker Bros.?

Sorry! Nope…

Oh! I get it, Sorry, like the board game Sorry…you guys took a real RISK with that one!

Until next time, mirth-seekers!!!

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