September 9, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith
Pampered scribes have been trying to “reverse the curse”. It isn’t working. So…
We called Larry King’s people who called Carrot Top’s people who called Larry King’s people back to say it was okay to reveal to us that the King of squawk radio will perform an exorcism at Dodger Stadium before the game this evening.
Did Darvish really dish out five runs last night?
Indeed…it was all the Rockies would need…
Are the Dodgers really cursed like the city of Chorazin?
Larry King hopes to confront the Antichrist in Dodger Stadium…although it’s not the dark lord’s first time there, we’re pretty sure that Justin Bieber has caught a game before…
Will Kevin Costner somehow be involved?
Yes, Costner plans to run around the perimeter of the field in a Steve Garvey uniform…he’ll wave an American flag and yell “Get out these walls, Satan!”
Who’s pitching for Los Dogs?
Alex Wood will whip whoppers at Colo-
Who’s hurling for the Rockies?
Chad “Not Jerome” Bettis, not nicknamed for the old Steeler, but for his hatred of the furniture chain, Jerome’s…
What time does the exorcism begin?
6:30, so get there early for your Larry King (Black Hooded Robe Version) Bobblehead!
Yes! That’ll be better than “Hungover At Spring Training (Glaring Version)” Tommy Lasorda Bobblehead!
Is it better than the “Tommy And Sinatra At The Polo Lounge Seven Drinks In” bobblehead?
No. Not by a long shot.
Until next time, mirth-seekers!!!