The Dodgers Go Down Like A Lead Balloon

tourist trap doesn not have Peter Billingsley in it

September 5, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith

What the f*%k happened?

We miss a couple of days and the Dodgers decide to take the rest of the year off?

Sheesh…why the hiatus rascalsoftheravine?

We moved our HQ due to September’s arrival at Big Bear…goodbye fishing, hello Hancock Park…plus we have Rams season tickets and can’t deal with a three hour drive after games..

THE DODGERS LOST THE LAST NINE OUT OF TEN GAMES, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON???

What goes up, must come down…

Is it really over for Los Dogs?

Of course not, Wood should be okay for the playoffs…if Darvish can get some run support and King Kersh is his usual self, they’ll be alright…

They’ve overachieved haven’t they? This is the same old squad as last year plus Bellinger and Darvish, and you know how they fared…Did Wood have a fluke season? Will he go the way of Kaz Ishii???

Jesus, relax…It’s only the first week of September…if they still look this bad in a few weeks, it’s uh-oh time…

Can the Rams beat the Colts?

THIS IS NOT A RAMS BLOG!

I was watching Rifftrax roast Tourist Trap the other night, i thought Peter Billingsley was in that?

Whoa. That is way. off. track.

Alright, alright…who’s pitching for the Dodgers tonight?

Noodles. And boy, does he look finished (this is a secret ploy to trash him, thus insuring his no-hitter later…) we’ve seen steaks that are less well done than that…

Less well done? What does that even mean? Medium-Well?

Can it, wiseacre…just ask another question.

Who’s hurling for the D-Backs?

THE MAN THAT SHOULD NOT HAVE GOTTEN AWAY…and boy, do Los Dogs need him…

I could have sworn that Peter Billingsley was in Tourist Trap…

Dammnit, fine…you must be thinking of Death Valley, but there aren’t any mannequins in that movie…

That’s gotta be it! I wonder why we thought he was in Tourist Trap…

Enough!

Does Ketel Marte own any Mini-Martes???

No.

Was John Ryan Murphy the beat partner of Sean Connery in The Untouchables?

He didn’t have a partner!

Was Brandon Drury born on Drury Lane?

100% yes, which is why his nickname is “The Muffin man”…

Seriously, though, the Rams should be able to take the Colts without Andrew Luck…

THIS IS NOT A RAMS BLOG!

Until next time, mirth-seekers!

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