Ka-Pow! Kersh Puts Kibosh On Dodger Skid In Diego

chocodile lyles

September 2, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith

San Diego sure must love Los Angeles.

If we’re not taking an NFL team from them, we’re pounding them into submission on the diamond. Kersh returned. “All is well, all is well…” Final score: Dodgers 1, Padres None…

What do Ron Burgundy-types need with sports? Aren’t they too busy dusting their face furniture with copious amounts of cocaine?

True, we figured they’d have plenty to do at that bar featured in the movie Top Gun

Nothing wrong with Jager shots and The Righteous Brothers..

Better than drinking with the Wrongteous Brothers…we’ve done that way too many times…

At least they have the Gaslamp District to get plowed in, the best thing you can hope for in Chavez Ravine is a knife-less encounter with a random hobo…

Alright, let’s get back to baseball…how about that lone run on nine hits yesterday, eh?

Yeah, what the hell?

Until Gonzalez is sacrificed this will continue…

Who’s hurling for Los Dogs today?

Yu guessed it! Dashing Darvish…

…and for the Friars?

Jordan “Chocodile” Lyles, not nicknamed for his addiction to “Crocodile Rock” by Elton John, but for his love of Hostess products…

Twinkie the Kid is one cool cat, indeed…you know they do all kinds of crazy things with Twinkies now, they even—

Yeah, deep fry ‘em, we know…

No, we were going to say soak them in LSD, then deep fry them in lard, then roll them in bacon, then dip them in butter, then coat them in caramel…

Sounds like an average breakfast here at rascalsoftheravine HQ…

What do the Dodgers eat for breakfast?

Back in the day, it would have been sausage patties and scrambled eggs…now it’s probably kooky kale cakes, Quinoa Crunch, and acai bowl-agony…y’think Tommy Lasorda got fat on that crap? They oughta serve wine and pasta with every meal, damnnitt…

Does Darvish dine at Denny’s?

You mean the Yankees’ sponsor in The Bad News Bears?

Until next time, mirth-seekers!!!

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