August 27, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith
So you want to write for us, huh? Okay, here’s how!
Sum up the Dodger game with sarcastic gusto! Drop at least four references from 1950-1990. This will insure a millennial drop-out. Make fun of Dodger Stadium regulars…invent areas in the stadium that do not actually exist (like the Mascot’s Entrance)
Turn the flamethrower on the pampered scribes! When you are forced to absorb as much baseball media as we are, well, the retch factor gets revved up to eleven. Marvel in disgust at how certain reporters obtained their position. Question their bad fashion decisions.
Engage in a dialogue with the disembodied voice about who will take the hill in the next game for Los Dogs. Mention at least three records, books, or television shows from the last century. Ramp up the drug humor and bawdy allegations. Pampered scribes can never go there. Take advantage.
Look at the lineup for the next game. Make fun of player names on both sides. Leave the cultural sensitivity to the pampered scribes. It smothers comedy. Feel free to make fun of anything and anybody (including you, chappy!)
Well, that doesn’t seem so hard, does it?
THEN GET OUT THERE AND DO IT, HOSE-HEADS!
Just kidding, don’t get out there and do it…we don’t need the competition…seriously, you’re not going to do it are you?
Oh, no! We’ve created a monster! What have we done???
Until next time, mirth-seekers!!!
P.S. Be sure to tune in after 4:00 for today’s Brew-Crew series wrap-up!