Maeken Bacon! Dodgers Hold Drunken Brew-Crew To Lone Hit

how to write for rascalsoftheravine

August 26, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith

How about them wacky jerseys last night?

We’ve already covered most of the Player’s Jerseys, but Jansen’s “Kenleyforniacation” uni was a nice switch-up…

Five-Inning Fanny went six!

Shocking, wasn’t it! He earned win #12…final score: Dodgers 3, Alcoholics 1…

Was Bernie Brewer in the house last night?

Yeah, he drank too much Miller Lite before stumbling over a railing and into the Dodger bully…luckily Dinky and Dolly (Dodger Stadium’s rodeo clowns of the bullpen) were there to yank him away from a charging Josh Ravin…

Who’s hurling for Los Dogs today?

“Strip Tease” will take the hill for the Blue Crew…

…and for Milwaukee?

Zach Rabies, a man so mean, he shot his cousin once…just for snorin’…

We heard you guys are going to help out pampered scribes tomorrow, what gives? 

Yes, “How To Write For Rascalsoftheravine” will be released on Sunday…we make it easy, like “Mad Libs” or a Mad Magazine primer…so easy, in fact, that a child, retarded emu, or pampered scribe could do it…

Uh-oh! You guys used the “R” word! Joc Pederson’s gonna be pissed!

Hey! You used the “P” word, your urologist is going to get offended…

Dudes! You used the “O” word…Oprah’s going to sue!

Dammmnitt! You used the “S” word, we’re in court enough you idiot mongoloid…

Jerk! You used the “M” word…only Devo is allowed to do that! 

At least they “brought home the bacon” in that song…

…and we’ve come full circle!

Until next time, mirth-seekers!!!

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