Maeda Melts Down In Motown, Dodgers Smuggle Verlander Onto Team Plane

beehive

August 20, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith

Five-Inning Fanny was great through…five…then he went Fukushima in the sixth and coughed up four runs… Curtis Granderson hit a home run, which was nice…another Tony was lit up for two…final score: Tigers 6, Dodgers 1.

What about the Rams last night, did you see Goff? His poise was unbeliva—

Yeah, it was the best we’ve seen him…Raiders fans committed mass hari kari on their switchblades…

It looks like he finally has some weapons, that O-line wasn’t bad and—

Ahem. This is a Dodger blog…

Bryan Cranston suggested (to Steve Mason) that the Dodgers should just pack Verlander in their suitcase and take him with them…

Good idea, they can poke holes in the case for air and feed him Beggin Strips during the flight.

Who’s pitching in Pittsburgh tomorrow?

Alex Wood will take the hill in the land of George Romero…

Yeah, the Monroeville Mall was in Dawn of the Dead…it’s also in the novel Christine by Stephen King, right?

King and Romero were pals (they also worked together on Creepshow)Christine has several location nods to Dawn of the Dead…Christine is also the name of Romero’s wife…

Will zombies be a problem at Ridiculous Sponsor Park?

Yes, but don’t worry, the outfield is completely surrounded  by land mines…fans have to be wary because if anyone reaches over the railing to grab a foul ball and falls onto the field…KA-BOOM!

Who’s pitching for the plundering Pirates?

Gerrit Cole…his first name seems like a redneck misspelling of Garrett…

Will Jolly John Jaso be in the lineup?

Yeah, he earned his nickname by punching someone’s lights out on Christmas Eve…

Will Max Moroff make merry?

Merry Max and Jolly John have been kicked out of Wild Thingz, Climax, and the Beehive Showbar with more frequency than Andy Dick’s Buffalo Wild Wings ejections…

Andy loves to pull those tube tops down! How did he make it through the ‘70s?

Don’t know…more importantly, does he listen to The Tubes?

The Completion Backward Principle was a favorite in Junior High…

Where the hell is Fee Waybill? More importantly, how does a waybill differ from a house bill?

Not sure…how about Gurley last night, though! Looks like he’s going to have a great—

This is not a Rams blog!

Until next time, mirth-seekers!

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