Darvish Deceives Dastardly D-Backs

austin barnes' other life

August 10, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith

It didn’t take long to bandy Banda about…

Los Dogs jumped on the bespectacled Tony to the tune of three runs in the top of the first and never looked back.

Final score: Dodgers 8, Diamondbacks 6.

Hey! We thought that Player’s Weekend started tomorrow!

Nope, it’s actually August 25-27th…

Damn you guys! We were looking forward to finding out the rest of the nicknames on the Dodger jerseys!

Easy, now! It can still be done! We leaked Turner, Bellinger, Utley, and Seager’s nicknames over the last couple of days…here’s what’s left…

Jansen=El Wino, not for his constant boozing, but because he can’t seem to stop whining about Dodger fans…

Puig=Pussy Pirate, not for his love of females, but for his feline frenzy…Puig currently owns 17 cats…

McCarthy=The Grim Mortician…his stoic demeanor and lanky frame says it all…

Darvish=R Yu Serious?…he’s a big fan of The Dark Knight…not Matt Harvey, the Batman film, silly…

Hill=Chill Pill…not for his hyper tense vibe, but because he can’t take pills at room temperature…he must put them in the freezer first…

Grandal=Grand Slam Breakfast…the man digs Denny’s, who are we to argue?

Forsythe=The Reaper…one can extract the word “scythe” from his last name…it’s the reaper’s weapon of choice, natch.

Gonzalez=Bon Voyage, Charlie Brown, and Don’t Come Back!…whew, those are lotsa words…sadly, they express the sentiment of most Dodger fans…

Ethier=Who?…not for his love of The Who, but because most fans can’t recognize him when shown a photo of the oft-banged up gourmand…

Barnes=Fish Heads…a popular song in 1978 by Barnes & Barnes…

Ryu=Noodles…the man shills for a noodle company…his doughboy frame indicates that he enjoys testing the product…

Taylor=Tail Tiger…the man ogles women’s butts…again, who are we to argue?

rascalsoftheravine=Ribald Royalty…gee, our very own jersey? We’re touched…not by an angel, but by beelzebub, himself, of course…

Until next time, mirth-seekers!!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s