Tony Hurls Bologna, Gives Up Salami

tony los tiger

August 9, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith

Can we send the Two Tonys back? Is there a warrantee on them?

Watson is the latest Tony to implode, as he coughed up a game-clinching grand slam to put the Snakes ahead for good last night. Final score: Arizona 6, Dodgers 3.

Hey, they might as well test out the Tonys now…do you think they’ll “award” the Dodgers during the playoffs?

Look at you with the laughs, “Tony Award”, yeah, we get it…

Who’s hurling tonight?

Alex Wood will try for win number 14. Pampered scribes report that his whiff factor has waned and he’s not hitting hypersonic speeds anymore…this could be through lack of a good breakfast…it’s a good thing that Tony the Tiger was also nabbed before the deadline!

Two Zacks In-A-Row?

Yeah, first Godley and now Greinke…uh-oh…we sense a Zack-In-The-Box joke coming up…

Damn you! I was building up to that…

Zack’s showbiz, baby!

When did this become the “dad joke” blog? Sheesh…Hey, did you guys check out the Players Weekend uniforms, pretty cool, huh?

Yeah, some of em are pretty cool, actually. Most seem to be ‘70s-style polyester pullovers. The nicknames on the back are okay for a couple of days, but, to be honest, we don’t think we could stomach “Cody Love” for the entire season…

Yeah, it figures the Dodgers’ nickname would be the worst. Cody Love? What the hell are these kids smoking?

We agree…look, unless you’re related to Mike Love it just sounds silly…

Yeah, someone might want to direct “Bringer of Rain” and “El Nino” to SoCal, we’re still in drought mode down here!

True enough…our fave nickname is “Ray Charles” for Matt Holliday…y’know the guy that went blind in the outfield at Dodger Stadium during the playoffs and dropped the ball? It cost St. Louis the game. He blamed it on Dodger fans and their damn towels!

That doofus…he doesn’t play for the Cardinals anymore…

Right, he just makes sour faces on the Yankee bench now…what a tool.

Freddie Freeman went out on a limb with “Freddie”, how did the marketing geniuses think of that one?

Well, they tried “Free” in the gift shop last year, and everyone just took them without paying…

Until next time, mirth-seekers!!!

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