Dodgers Make Mincemeat Out Of Miserable Mets

rascalsoftheravine party 1981

August 7, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith

The Dodgers have more confidence than James Bond at a Baccarat table.

Ryu and company only coughed up a lone hit. Bellinger blasted his 32nd home run of the season. The Dodgers make every other team appear as if they’re staffed entirely by Timmy Lupus clones…final score Dodgers 8, Mets 0.

They’d better win the freaking World Series or…

Or people will shrug their shoulders and say “that was fun, but…onto the Rams (uh-oh)”

Who do the Dodgers beat up on next?

The next team to play punching bag for Los Dogs will be the Arizona Diamondbacks…

Can we stay at Tequila Towers?

Well, Tequila Towers is usually reserved for Spring Training…Sammy Hagar and Lee Ving have a stranglehold on the upper floors at the moment…

So that means we’re doomed to a fleabag motel on Indian School Road?

Yes.

Can we crash in Concession Room 2 at Camelback Ranch again?

Now that you’ve just told the world about our hiding spot, no…

Who’s pitching tomorrow?

Zack Godley, heavy metal air guitar champion, will take the hill for the Snakes.

Any relation to Godley & Creme?

Bingo. Time to dig some 10CC out of the crates…those guys directed a lot of videos in the early ‘80s too…

Who’s hurling for Los Dogs?

Kenta Maeda…it’s August so the “noodle arm watch” is on…can Kenta remain healthy going into the playoffs? Or will his moneymaker resemble a boneless chicken strip heading into October?

Mmmmm boneless chicken strips…ranch and bbq dipping sauce, please!

Damn, you’d eat a bag of deep fried chicken heads if they were available, right?

Bring ‘em on!

At least in Arizona we can get deep fried alligator at Pappadeaux…

…and sausage patties at the Tequila Towers breakfast buffet…c’mon, talk to Sammy Hagar, maybe they’ll let us stay in the boiler room?

Wouldn’t be the first time!

Tell him we’ll polish his red rocket!

You’d better be talking about his guitar…

Until next time, mirth-seekers!

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