Flowers Smokes Dodgers, Bellinger Bombs No. 30


August 3, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith

Wha? They didn’t win?

Believe it, or not, Los Dogs actually lost a game last night. Baez was blasted for a two-run shot that ended up costing the contest for the Blue Crew. Final score: Braves 5, Dodgers 3.

Hell, I thought the Dodgers would win out…

Us too…not really, but it sure seemed like a possible fantasy. Remember when you were a kid and imagined a 162-0 season? This year’s Dodger squad is about as close as you’re going to get.

I didn’t fantasize about a 162-0 season, I fantasized about Lynda Carter…

Huh, we always pegged the disembodied voice to be a Julie Newmar man…

I literally ran into Newmar at Eat-A-Pita on Fairfax in 1993…I almost knocked the chicken tray out of her hand and she gave me a scathing look…

Alright voice, let’s get back to baseball…c’mon…ask us who’s pitching tonight…

Who’s pitching tonight?

Sean Newcomb (insert old comb joke here) will take the hill for the teepee set.

Who’s hurling for Los Dogs?

Woody will try to best his former team, once more. He ate too many Pop Rocks and drank too many Cokes the last time he faced them. The sugar rush earned him his only loss of the season so far, so today he has to limit himself to just one bag of Pixy Stix.

Will the Addams Family play for the Braves today?

Yes, Lane and Matt Adams will grace SunTrust Field with their presence…

Does Johan Camargo wear cargo pants?

Almost exclusively.

Does he hang out with Cargo from the Rockies?

They bowl together all the time.

Does he listen to the Cargo album by Men At Work?

Wow, that’s the second Cargo reference this year…we’re going to have to start sending Colin Hay checks soon…

Until next time, mirth-seekers!

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