Kenta Keelhauls Tomahawk Tossers, Kid Cody Clobbers 29th

puffed ricin

August 2, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith

The original Five-Inning Fanny goes seven!

Yes, your eyes do not deceive you, dear readers, Krazy Kenta actually tossed seven scoreless innings without his brittle little arm falling off…that will happen in September, as we all know.

How did he do it?

A couple of hits off a local peace pipe turned him into the Incredible Hulk…when in Rome…

Do as the Vandals!

Whoa, look at you with the punk rock references…

Did Kid Cody really hit big jack #29?

Dig your keen insight, you must be following pampered scribes on Twitter…they were in full force last night…their lame, obvious Tweets reached 10 on the blecchhh-o-meter…

I thought that thing went to 11?

Right! We forgot that Rob Reiner tinkered with it.

Who’s pitching tonight?

Brock, the same little dude that puffed ricin on Breaking Bad, will take the hill for Los Dogs.

Puffed Ricin…wasn’t that a trendy cereal back in the day?

No, Brock smoked…never mind. Julio Tayyyyywrong gets the start for the tomahawk tossers…

Is Tyler Flowers really a flower child?

Maybe…y’know the kids call weed “flowers” these days…jam that in your peace pipe…

Does Kurt Suzuki ride a Suzuki motorcycle to games?

Nope, he’s a Harley man.

Harley Peyton, the Twin Peaks writer?

No…Jesus…have you been taking hits off the peace pipe?

Yeah, sorry…any more of that Puffed Ricin around?

Until next time, mirth-seekers!!!

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