Yu Don’t Say? Dodgers Deal for Darvish

original rascalsoftheravine staffers

August 1, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith

It wasn’t exactly a bold prediction on our part that devilish Darvish would be coming to Southern California.

Everyone seemed to feel like this trade would happen, even the Magic 8-ball in our office kept displaying the text “He’s coming, dummies” every time we asked it about Yu…

Me?

No, not you, Yu…Jesus, is this going to turn into a Who’s on first bit every time we mention Yu?

Me?

No, NOT YOU! Arrrrggggghhhh!

This is the second year in a row that the front office has done something at the deadline, could they actually, finally care about their jobs?

No. We still think the whole thing is a scam, like The Producers…the Dodgers have figured out that winning the West and not the World Series is somehow more profitable…

You’re not actually serious?

Yes, serious reporting is the backbone of rascalsoftheravine.com….bwahahahahaha…we couldn’t even type that with a straight face…look, even the Magic 8-ball in our office knows the Dodgers have a serious shot at the Big Ragoo…

The Big Ragoo?

Yeah, some say “the whole enchilada”, we say “the Big Ragoo”…

The Big Ragoo’s jacket on Laverne and Shirley was cool, but we liked the “Lone Wolf” coat better…

Yeah, well who cares what you think, you’re just a disembodied voice asking questions.

Speaking of that, I think it’s time I got a raise…

Good Lord…

Is Scott Van Slyke really gone?

Yes, he was traded to the Reds for, oddly enough, a shipping container full of reds…the pills…they’re much more popular than greenies used to be.

What’s up with all these Tonys coming to L.A.?

Yeah, it’s weird, Tony Watson from Pittsburgh is on the way…Tony Cingrani from Cincinnati…the Dodgers were also able to nab Tony the Tiger from Kellogg’s in an eleventh hour trade for the Fruity Yummy Mummy…

Until next time, mirth-seekers!

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