Seager Bombs Beleaguered Battery Chucks

SF fans are not smart

July 29, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith

Forget about Pete Seeger. Ditto for Bob. There’s only room enough for one Seager in this town. So what if his first name sounds like a boy-band bimbo’s?

Corey ka-pow’d two blistering blasts in last night’s 6-4 victory over the hated ones. First, there was the solo smash in the…first…then in the seventh he broke the battery chuck’s backs (and the tie) with a towering moon shot that’s still hovering in orbit as we speak. Alex Wood earned win number 12.

Who’s pitching in…four hours?

Hard to believe the next game is only four hours away as we type this. Rakish Rich Hill will occupy the hill to the thrill of Dodger Stadium’s denizens.

What about the Battery Chucks?

What about them? They’re awful…they’re sending disgraced ex-candy magnate, Ty Blach, to the mound.

Blach’s name, as you all know, was originally Brach and he was poised to take over the empire until them found him one morning hungover and naked in a candy corn machine.

Until tomorrow, mirth-seekers!

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