Dodgers Delight as Hill Chills Tomahawk Tossers

Matt Shemp

July 23, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith

Utley, Seager, and Taylor torpedoed Teheran. Hill’s ill bag of tricks fixed the Brave knaves…final score at the Ravine: Dodgers 6, Atlanta 2.

Matt Kemp (we almost typed Matt Shemp instead of Kemp…seems fitting, he was such a stooge) tried to spoil the fun in the top of the fifth inning with a game-tying RBI…Puig drove in Grandal to break the tie in the sixth…Matt Shemp…we can’t get over it…

Who’s pitching today?

Cue “Only Sixteen” by Sam Cooke as King Captain Commander Kersh will attempt to earn win one-six versus Sean Newcomb, a man who hasn’t actually purchased a comb in his entire life.

Dansby Swanson is playing for the Braves today, is he a character from a Fitzgerald novel?

Ha, no. Sure sounds like it, though.

Can Ender Inciarte really incinerate objects with his eyes?


Is Freddie Freeman a character from the movie, Shaft?

Man, you’re on a roll.

Is Danny Santana a character from the TV show Miami Vice?

No, but Nick Markakis was in My Really Big Gigantically Fat Obese Greek Wedding…

Until next time, mirth-seekers!

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