July 17, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith
We’ll shout it from the mountaintops! The Dodgers are rolling like…Jelly Roll Morton. Another series, another sweep. Final score at the Miami fish fry: Dodgers 3, Marlins 2.
Some pampered scribes believe that merely mentioning the Dodgers’ success will somehow jinx them. Poppycock! Enjoy this run no matter what happens because sitting on your hands and praying for a World Series victory is silly, Billy. Tell your grandma, tell your parole officer, tell the guy who works at the Dairy Queen drive-thru: Los Dogs are on fire. While you’re there, ask the guy at the DQ window if they still have the cherry-dipped cones, we dig those.
The same flaws that plagued the club in playoff runs of the past are still there (an unproven starting staff post-Kersh, the injury bug waiting in the wings, Kenley Jansen’s bad breath) so don’t get us wrong, it’s just that the Dodgers are firing on all cylinders and it’s been a gas to see (that Bellinger kid’s been kinda fun too.)
Is an overrated album…we much prefer The Who Sell Out. Oh! You mean who do the Dodgers play next…why, the Pale Hose, of course! Yes, we’re talking about the Chicago White Stockings…
Will King Kersh win his 15th game?
Is the sky blue?
Who’s hurling for the South Siders?
Miguel Gonzalez, a man who’s AC joint (that’s the joint that air conditions your body) has been more inflamed than our staff was after that disappointing viewing of More American Graffiti.
What will the Dodgers do on their day off in Chicago today?
They’re going on a guided tour of the Windy City, led by Matthew Broderick, natch.
Did you know that John Hughes was actually a White Sox fan?
We’ve always preferred argyle ourselves.
Until next time, mirth-seekers!