Taylor Skewers Snakes As Dodgers Sweep Series

Cody Bellinger's family has lots of c names

July 7, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith

If you had told us when the season began that Chris Taylor was going to have a breakout year like this, we would have laughed into your Alpha Bits. Nonetheless, Los Dogs left Arizona agog last night with a four-run comeback ninth inning to win the game…the victory was sealed thanks to Tayyylooorr’s walk-off single (his fourth hit of the game, no less). Final score: Dodgers 5, D-Backs 4.

The Dodgers have shown Arizona and Colorado who’s boss in the NL West, and it’s not Tony Danza…let’s hope the magic continues in the second half of the season. We’ll say it again, what the f@$# happened to the Giants?

The Kansas City Royals ride into town tonight. It seems like only yesterday when we would reach for them as an example of the worst team in the league. “At least we’re not the Kansas City Royals,” we would utter (when the Dodgers fell short of the World Series, again). Well, we all know what happened…the Royals got good…they won it all…hell they’ve probably hosted an All-Star game in the last 37 years (unlike L.A.) too…where’s that noose again?

Who’s pitching tonight?

The Grim Mortician and Rotund Ryu are injured, natch, so Moribund Maeda will march out of the bullpen to take the hill for Los Dogs.

Who’s hurling for the Royals?

Some guy with a beard. Alan Hamel. He used to shill for Alpha Beta supermarkets.

Will Bellinger hit at least one more home run before the All-Star Break?

Man, we sure hope so, he’s been parked at 24 for a while…Jiving Judge is up to 29 now…Cody’s dad, Clay, must be loving his season so far, though…so must his brother Cole…and his cousin Cory…and his sister Catherine…and his Aunt Claire…and his Uncle Carl…and his mom C…yes, her name is just the letter C, you gotta problem with that?

Until next time, mirth-seekers!

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