Roberts Roars As Friars Fix To Fight

rip-roarin' roberts

July 1, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith

When we think of Dodger manager, Dave Roberts, we think of a positive, smiley guy who’s done a terrific job juggling the Dodgers’ battered rotation over the last year and a half. Los Dogs’ record is a reflection of his leadership. His personality didn’t exactly flip our lids…UNTIL LAST NIGHT WHEN ROBERTS WENT ALL RAY LIOTTA AND PSYCHO-EYED ANDY GREEN, AFTER ALEX WOOD ACCUSED THE FACETIOUS FRIARS OF STEALING SIGNS…

The entire rascalsoftheravine staff triple-salaamed the show of force like so many obsequious peasants trailing in the wake of Amenhotep…salami, salami, baloney!

Up until Roberts’ death-stare, we figured Dave spent his days off listening to Al Jarreau whilst he played Connect Four with Ron Howard.

The final score in last night’s Friar fiasco? Dodgers 10, Padres 4. Wood is now 9-0, Kringle hit a home run, and fickle Forsythe managed four hits.

Speaking of FOUR hits, forget about “deuces are wild”! Tonight, we have a “quatro conundrum” as Rich Hill, #44, will take his 4-4 record and his 4.60 ERA to the Petco pedestal!

Dillon Overton (another millennial who looks like an extra from Deliverance or the Boston Red Sox) will take the hill for the fledgling Friars.

Win the Friars fan flames over last night’s folderol? Will Los Dogs dive into another diatribe against doomed Diego? Does Allen Cordoba really drive a Chrysler Cordoba, or is he just stuck in a pagoda with Tricia Toyota?

Until next time, mirth-seekers!

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