June 27, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith
This is why we hate the Freeway Series.
The Dodgers’ 10-game super streak has been snapped by those smarmy Angels in the outfield. The good news is that Rich Hill’s arm didn’t fall off and he only coughed up three runs in seven innings. What we want to know is, how the hell did icky Ricky Tabasco (3-9) beat Los Dogs? His pact with Satan obviously came into play.
The real dirt on the series? There’s no rivalry, the games are snores, and the Dodgers usually lose. What’s not to love?
The Angels will roll out Dodger reject, Jesse Chavez (5-7, 5.15 ERA) tonight. He stinks, so it’s a cinch he’ll hold Los Dogs to three hits.
The Dodgers will send Kenta Maeda to the hill. Enjoy seeing him now, because he’ll break down like a Chevy Vega come September.
Hey, wait a minute! Was Joseph Gordon-Levitt at the game last night flapping his damn arms? No wonder the Blue Crew choked!
This is all starting to make sense now, one of our staffers spotted Danny Glover outside the gates, but we just thought he was protesting about the lack of rights for hot dogs…
Will Kole Calhoun realize he has the name of a Civil War general? Will Maldonado, Marte, and Maybin make merry with Madonna? Will Juan Graterol license his last name to a grate cleaning product?
Stay tuned! Until next time, mirth-seekers!