June 19, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith
Hold on to your hats, kids! The free-fingering master of mischief will be making merry at Dodger Stadium tonight! We’re talking about none other than Mr. Met himself, the same mascot that flipped off fans in the Big Apple a couple of weeks ago.
Sadly, the Dodgers don’t have a mascot for Mr. Met to mock battle, so we’re afraid that he’ll turn his salty ire to the crowd once more, protect your children at all costs!
You’ve read about the Mascot’s Entrance at Dodger Stadium in this ridiculous rag before (check out the fine article “Double-Digit Deja! Friars Flambeed Again On Opening Day!” for more info.) and we’re wondering what kind of trouble Mr. Met will get himself into down in that tunnel of shame!
King Kersh will attempt to corral his tenth win of the season against the mediocre Mets tonight, in what promises to be a mildly riveting battle of the ages. Seriously, it would be amazing to see Kersh get to twelve wins before the All-Star Break…remember when Kaz Ishii had 12 wins before the break in 2004? He ended the season at 13-8…あらいやだ！
Zack Wheeler takes the hill for the Mets…
When Zack Wheeler’s parents named him, were they thinking about little Zack’s future as a truck driver or country singer right off the bat? Correctional officer? Rodeo clown? Carny?
We marvel at some of the names around baseball…the Rockies currently have a player in the California League named Hamlet Marte. Did mom name him? Dad’s gotta be a little nervous! Somebody better keep an eye on Uncle Claude!
Until next time, mirth-seekers!