Ryu Reigns Over Ramshackle Reds, Puig Pokes A Pair

clarence boddicker day

June 17, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith

The Ravishing Ryu helped reel in the Dodger victory today. Cincinnati unveiled a statue of Pete Rose before the game, the bronze figure was spotted laying a C-Note down on LA to win. Puig fed the Ohio River with two righteous rockets. Game two final score: Dodgers 10, Reds 2.

Big Dead Machine?

With the win on Friday night, the Blue Crew nabbed the season series from Cincinnati. Rick Monday danced like a forest elf in glee as he reported the above fact on the air yesterday. Kevin Kennedy (he HAS to be related to Stacy Keach) mumbled something about a cement mixer slider. Los Dogs now sit with the Snakes…one game behind the Rox in the NL West.

In game one of the series, Alex Wood chopped Reds batters into kindling as he only coughed up one run in eight solid innings worth of work. His record now stands at 7-0.

Daddy Lolo!

Game three of the series will be played on Father’s Day, which, oddly enough, happens to be Clarence Boddicker day at the Great American Ballpark. The first 30,000 fans through the gates will receive a Cobra assault cannon, a 6000 SUX, and twenty pounds of cocaine.

The dad-day matchup begins at 10:10 AM best-coast time…

The Mets roll into town on Monday…Wednesday night is Andre Ethier bobblehead night…hmmm…he hasn’t played much this year…how about Carl Crawford bobblehead night? Darren Dreifort bobb-o, perhaps? ANDRUW JONES NIGHT, hallelujah! Aw, to heck with it, we’ll just have to make due with our Manny Ramirez plushy.

Until next time, mirth-seekers!!

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