Dodgers Meet Red Menace At Home

young mike trout models for chip hilton cover

June 9, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith

Commie punks are coming to town!

Is Rich Hill’s favorite song “still ill” by The Smiths?

It must be! They play it every time he walks to the…hill.

Will Senator McCarthy throw out the first pitch?

Well, he died in 1957…so, yes!

Boy, he sure hated commies!

That’s where everyone has it wrong. He was a Milwaukee Braves fan who hated the Cincinnati Reds, the whole thing was a big mix-up!

So, the Rush song, “Red Lenses” is about everyone’s misinterpretation of McCarthy’s paranoia?

No. Where the hell did you get that idea?

Isn’t Scott Schebler playing for the Reds now? Didn’t he play for Los Dogs?

He did, until Van Slyke’s tormenting chants of “Scott Scheeebleer eats Keebler!” drove him off the team and out of the city.

Wasn’t Scooter Gennett a character in a Chip Hilton book?

He was! Mike Trout, Joc Pederson, and Buster Posey all modeled for Chip Hilton covers throughout the years.

It’s tough to say the name “Joey Votto” without making an Italian gesture and scrunching up your face like Marlon Brando in The Godfather, isn’t it?

Si, pazzo, si! Until next time, mirth-seekers!!!

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