Kershaw KOs Spielberg, Will Face David Lynch Next

rascalsoftheravine visits the twin peaks set

June 8, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith

The win against Washington was wonderful to witness. King Kersh clobbered the nasty Nats. Spielberg was left sobbing in his soup. Seager sizzled a shot that soared all the way to San Dimas. One question, however, rests roughly on our minds…

Has the league figured Cody Bellinger out?

Probably. Bellinger’s numbers are plummeting like Sears stock.

Do the Dodgers really have the best pitching in the NL?

As we’ve witnessed, the Dodgers have depth. They excel at cobbling together a hodgepodge of arms behind Clayton K…HOWEVER, come October, who do you picture in the rotation behind C.K.? The problem is, none of the other starters can remain healthy enough or have the postseason experience to conjure up fear in the minds of opponents.

Who really pulled the trigger on J.F.K.?

Ray Kroc? Iggy Pop? Mr. Green Jeans? The question has haunted our staff for decades, just as it has Agent Dale Cooper.

What’s going on tonight?

Freddie Hubbard’s Night of the Cookers usually starts the evening off right. We’ll down a couple of Tom Collins’ before heading out for a steak at the Sycamore Inn…

No, we mean with the Dodgers, geez…

The Blue Crew has the day off before they meet up with the Big Red Machine tomorrow.

What does the team do on their day off?

Well, you’ve seen North Dallas Forty, right? It’s kind of like that…minus the hunting, bourbon swilling, joint smoking, and the endless sea of babes…

Jesus, what’s left? 

Staring at a cell phone, ride sharing, and random acts of kindness…

Freaking millennials!

You said it, brother! Until next time, mirth-seekers!!!

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