Mound City Muck-Up! Umps Bungle Blue-Crew 9th

Dodgers Cardinals Baseball

June 2nd, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith

Gonzalez and Grandal were victims of some crosseyed calls in the ninth inning during yesterday’s loss to the St. Louis Redbirds at Busschhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Stadium III…

Plate umpire, Marty Foster, clearly had a bottle of in-flight scotch on his mind…perhaps an episode of Route 66 on the iPad as he orders a pastrami sandwich from a charming stewardess…

Snap Out Of It! Quit Fantasizing About Marty Foster’s Flight!

Right, sorry! The point is, Foster was in a hurry to get his umps on a plane toward their next umpire destination, wherever that may be. His mind clearly wasn’t on the whole ball/strikes thing. He obviously was thinking about the superior selection of tiny bottles of liquor at the Four Seasons and that little strip club down the street that no one can see him walk to and…

Get Foster Out Of Your Head! The Dodgers Ended Up Splitting That Series, Damnit! Who Do They Play Tonight?

The Brew -Crew! King Kersh will battle Jimmy Nelson in a clash of…wait, a minute…Jimmy Nelson from the Daily Planet? That guy plays baseball now? As if taking pictures of Superman wasn’t cool enough, now this guy has to horn in on…

No, Dummy. That’s Jimmy OLSEN. The Brewers pitcher is NELSON. Jesus.

Pampered scribes have been writing about the Dodgers and the injury bug lately…hasn’t this bug been biting Los Dogs for FOUR YEARS NOW? They are Inj-bug INFESTED! Break out the flea collars!!!

Do They Give You A Giant Stein Of Beer When You Walk Into Miller Park? Does Bernie Brewer Slide Into A Huge Vat Of Pilsner? Do Children Play And Laugh In Fountains Of Malt Liquor?

Yes, dear readers, yes…this is why Miller Park is the “Jewel of the Midwest”…

Until next time, mirth-seekers!

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