Bartman to Throw Out First Pitch at Dodger Stadium?

steve bartman at the ravine?

May 26, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith

Ryu still wants to start.

The cherubic, oft-injured pitcher ended up tossing a four-out save last night because he can’t hack it in the starting rotation anymore…but he still wants to start. Well, Hyun-Jin, we’re sure the Dodgers WANTED you in the rotation over the last couple of years instead of paying you to gobble chili dogs on your barcalounger. We’re also fairly positive the fans WANTED a decent pitching staff behind Kershaw, not a broken down pile of maybe-babies…so how about you just pitch wherever they tell you to, capisce?

Ah, but we’re ignoring Maeda’s rollercoaster ride last night. Kenta coughed up three runs in the first inning, but managed to steady the ship and hurl four scoreless frames as well as drive in two runs at the plate. Final score: Dodgers 7, Cardinals 3.

Can you guys stop saying Chris Taylor’s name like Nova does in Planet of the Apes?

No. We like it. Tayyyyloooor had himself quite a night as he went 3-4 at the plate and drove in a run (he ended up scoring as well).

Why is Gonzalez in the lineup tonight? In 13 at bats vs Arrieta, his average is .077!

We know…the injuries to Toles and Pederson probably have something to do with it…

Wood’s been awesome this year, isn’t it about time for him to get injured?

Shhhhh…the injury Gods will hear you!

Are Dodger fans and players still peeved about the Cubs rubbing in their little championship in Chicago?

Oh yeah, it’s probably the reason tonight is “Bring your rancid garbage to the ballpark” night…get ready for lotsa tomatoes, rotten eggs, and moist coffee grounds to get hurled…

Where the hell is Steve Bartman?

He’s NOT throwing out the first pitch in any ballpark anytime soon, but he IS on some twisted road trip with Bill Murray at this very moment…they head out to Whiskey Pete’s in Primm, Nevada twice a year with Tom Waits and Cher.

Until next time, mirth-seekers!

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