Dodgers Dine Late On Raw Redbirds


May 24, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith

Broadcasting legend, Charlie Steiner, referenced the short story, The Loneliness of the Long-Distance Runner by Alan Sillitoe during extras in last night’s thirteen-inning marathon at the Ravine. Kershaw and Lynn duked it out like Apollo Creed and Rocky (Lynn hurled for eight, Kersh went nine). We here at rascalsoftheravine certainly envisioned a nineteen-inning night ahead until the magic bat of Logan Forsythe drove in fellow Rancho-rehabber, Adrian Gonzalez, for the big win in the thirteenth. Final score: Dodgers 2, Cardinals 1.

Did you guys move your headquarters or something?

Yep, we moved to Mount Baldy. Our rogue writer, Tom Fostex, has a shack up there, so the entire staff moved in for the summer, kind of like John Belushi in Continental Divide.

So, you’re saying that, like in the film, you’re all newspaper men, and you’re on the run from corrupt policeman and have to hide out in the Rockies to interview Blair Brown.

Ummm…no…we just meant that we high tailed it to the mountains to drink beer and fish for the entire summer…Jesus, don’t take everything so seriously.

Is that why you guys were practically MIA on the series with the Marlins?

Yes. The Dodgers kicked us out of the abandoned 76 Station, we had to find somewhere to live!

Whatever, who’s pitching tonight in Game 2 of the series against the Redbirds?

Rich Hill (he’s earned the nickname “Rich Little” amongst his teammates because of his spot on imitation of Arch Hall Jr.) will take the…hill (we’ve been waiting to do that for a while) for the Dodgers. Mike Leake (father of Kelly) will pitch for St. Louis…

Will Gonzalez, Grandal, and Gutierrez rumble with Garcia, Grichuk, and Gyorko to decide who’s the ultimate “G”? Was Stephen Piscotty tormented in his youth by roving gangs of thug kids who called him “biscotti” and endlessly bugged him for Italian cookies? Will there be a collision bobblehead of Puig and Pederson after last night’s fender bender in the outfield? Will rascalsoftheravine staff members get dysentery in Fostex’ caveman cabin?

Stay tuned! Until next time, mirth-seekers!

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