Bell “Toles” for Andrew, Rocks Rip Ryu

rascalsoftheravine readers live here

May 12, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith

“Bring Out Your Dead”

Here comes the meat wagon…poor Toles is done for the season after he went Jason Werth and slammed into an outfield wall Wednesday night trying to run down a screamer off the bat of Andrew McCutchen. It goes without saying that Toles has been terrific this season and will certainly be missed. The Dodgers ended up sweeping the series against the Bucs, but…

You Gotta Be Kidding Part II

We worried that after Maeda’s boss start on Wednesday that something bad would happen. Why did we worry? It seems that every Dodger pitcher (minus Kershaw) seems to land on the DL after a brilliant start (McCarthy, Ryu a couple of weeks ago.) Now, Maeda’s on the 10-day DL with a tight hamstring. The team may want to keep Urias in a giant hermetically sealed jar…kind of like Travolta in The Boy In The Plastic Bubble. Wait, has anyone heard from Alex Wood? Put a bodyguard on that kid, pronto! No, not Kevin Costner…he’s THE bodyguard…just have someone watch Wood to make sure he doesn’t cut up his fingers putting Cheese Whiz on crackers, okay?

Rox Rain Destruction On Ryu 

Ryu appeared flatter and duller than a Kansas City encyclopedia salesman in the ten-run rout the Rox laid on him last night. To the team’s credit, they didn’t quit and managed to score seven runs in the 10-7 loss.

Clash at Coors Field

No, the Clash aren’t playing at Coors Field. Kershaw takes the hill tonight in game two of the four-game series in Denver. The Rockies roll out Tyler Chatwood for his first start against Los Dogs this season.

Will Kershaw right the ship?

Yes.

But, the Rockies beat him last time?

So.

Shouldn’t we be nervous going into this thing?

No.

Is Dylan ever going to tour again?

We don’t know, quit bugging us already!

What Time Does The Game Start?

Geez, what are we, Big Ben? It depends on where you live…here in Los Angle-Us the game starts at 5:40…that’s 7:40 for all our Jamaican readers…we don’t really have any readers in Jamaica…but they love us in Saint Vincent and the Grenadines! Until next time, mirth-seekers!!

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