Peligroso Puig Pounds Gorming G-Men

puig warning label

May 3, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith

Yasiel Puig has 17 RBIs??? It’s true! That’s one RBI for every bottle of Cristal he keeps in his helicopter! He plated four in last night’s super slaughter of San Fran…Alex Wood coughed up four runs in five innings worth of work, but it didn’t matter…Los Dogs put up a baker’s dozen to take game two of the series. Final score: Dodgers 13, Giants 5.

How’d The Call-Up Kid Do?

Bellinger only knocked in three runs (he also hit a three bagger in the first inning.) Are they really sending him back to OKC? Adrian who??

Top Rankin’ Franklin 

Gutierrez is back from injury and he didn’t waste any time as he smashed a solo shot that kicked off a six-run bottom of the second for Los Dogs. The team brought him in to hit left-handed pitching…he certainly did last night, keep it up, Frankie!

Rubber Biscuit Match

Game three of the series is tonight. “Gymboree” Jeff Samardzija (he much prefers working out at Gymborees than actual gyms) will battle Julio Urias (he’s not the terrible teen anymore, he’s 20 now, but mom still does his laundry…and drives him to Lazertag on occasion) in a match for the ages! Okay, okay, it’s not really, you got us. Samardzija’s ERA is over six and Urias isn’t Fernando or anything…hey, they’re giving away Vin Scully’s mic!

Are They Really Giving Away Vin Scully’s Mic?

No. It’s a reproduction of a mic. Kind of like a bobblehead…but it’s a microphone. Can you imagine if they actually gave away Vin Scully’s real mic to a lucky fan? The dude would probably leave it in his trunk…wedged between a Coleman chair and Pabst Blue Ribbon cans…

Until next time, mirth-seekers!!!

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