Snipe At Second Dooms Dogs In San Fran

justin turner is picked off

April 25, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith

It must be nice to play the Dodgers and know that if you can just get through the seventh, the game is yours. Los Dogs collectively resemble Rudy Stein at the plate from the eighth inning on. Baserunning gaffes, anyone? Corky Romano has more awareness in the field than Justin Turner…a pickoff at second base to lose the game is no way to go through life, son…

It’s scary to see how often the Dodgers are completely stymied at the plate. They get shut down more than Eddie Deezen in a prom stag line. Maybe they need to upgrade their cologne. We here at rascalsoftheravine have always preferred the “Green Bottle Polo” ourselves…

How About Hyun?

It’s a shame that Ryu’s six-inning gem (one earned run on five hits and he gets the loss) ended up being wasted… can the Ottogi Noodle overlord repeat in his next start?

Chris Or Gregory Taylor?

It gets weird here sometimes. Every time Chris Taylor is mentioned in a game broadcast, the rascalsoftheravine staff collectively does an imitation of the mute Nova (Linda Harrison) from Planet Of The Apes trying to pronounce Gregory Taylor’s (played by Charlton Heston) name for the first time as she’s learning to speak…“Tayyyylorrrrrr”…we never said we were sane here, folks.

Enough Of The Blather, Who’s Pitching Tonight?

Ty Bleeeechhhhhhh (0-0, 4.76 ERA) will take the hill for the hated ones. Some guy named Kershaw (3-1, 2.54 ERA) gets the start for the Dodgers.

New Feature!

We listen to a lot of music down here at rascalsoftheravine HQ…a wide variety of sounds emit from the ol’ ghetto blaster…now we’ll share em with you!

Every post will now include the album that was playing when the article was finished….today’s soundtrack is…

Conquistador by Maynard Ferguson (Columbia Records, 1977—Produced by Jay Chattaway) Notable musicians include: Bob James, George Benson, Patti Austin, Peter Erskine…

Back To The Baseball, Dummy

Will Kershaw clown Crawford and Christian? Will Bleeccchh bash Brett and Barnes? Will Puig pick off Pence? Will Posey pick off Puig? Will Panik pick off himself? Stay tuned!!! Until tomorrow, mirth-seekers!

 

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