Kersh KOs Rox After Opening Cheap Shot

Tyler Anderson Enters Game

April 20, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith

Here’s a fun fact!

When the game starts at 7:10, you’ll usually find the home team on the field, and the visiting team in the dugout!

Call it a cheap shot, call it gamesmanship, Clayton Kershaw wasn’t having any of it. The moment the game began, visiting hurler, Tyler Anderson, sashayed out of the visitor’s pen with his entourage in tow like Liberace on the Vegas Strip as he headed for Colorado’s dugout.

Kershaw stepped off the mound and stared death beams at Anderson as he waited for the slowpoke to get to his dugout. Anderson’s posse only slowed things down by obsequiously dusting his uniform as they showered him with buckets of Cristal and gold glitter.

Clayton’s vicious glare broadcast his thoughts loud and clear: The game starts at 7:10, asshole. 

The juvenile move seemed to rattle Kersh as he immediately walked Blackmon and coughed up singles to LeMahieu and Arenado to jam the bases. Nevertheless, Clayton managed to escape the inning with just a lone run surrendered. Kersh, of course, insists that Anderson’s diva crap wasn’t the reason for his rough start, but it did seem to rattle him.

Will other teams begin to pull stunts like this on Kersh? Will Jake Arrieta ride a camel in from the pen at 7:11 when Chicago’s in town? Will Max Scherzer peddle a unicycle? We’ll keep our eyeballs peeled…

Did Kershaw go his usual 7 at least?

Damn straight.

Two earned runs on five hits in seven innings worth of work (he also fanned ten.) Final score: Dodgers 4, Rockies 2.

Van Smash went yard (nice to see as he hasn’t been himself since ’15.) Sadly, Los Dogs were only 2-8 with runners in scoring position. Hernandez, Seager, and Gonzalez each had an RBI as well as Van Slyke.

With the win last night, the Dodgers managed to split the two-game series before they amble off to Arizona. Today, they have the day off and we can bet they WON’T spend it at the naked bookstore owner’s joint in Quartzsite, AZ. We refuse to enter the above establishment ourselves, as we’ve seen the film Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome, and have no further need to see old men in leather loincloths.

Alex Wood gets the start for Los Dogs at Chase Field tomorrow. He filled in for Rich Hill in Chicago and only managed to cough up one run in nearly six innings. Taijuan Walker will go for the Snakes.

Since there’s no game today, our article tomorrow will be on Dodger uniform additions we’d like to see! No camo, we promise! Until then, mirth-seekers!

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