Snakes Slither Through Bullpen, Split Series

Milwaukee Brewers vs St. Louis Cardinals

April 18, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith

Counting on a comeback? Don’t hold your breath, kid. When the Dodgers are down late in games, we can’t help but feel it’s over. Los Dogs have come a long way in terms of chemistry, but they still seem to lack that clutch man in the clubhouse. The Blue Crew ended up splitting the series with Arizona on a game that they should have taken at home.

Jake Lamb smoked the first pitch he saw off Chris Hatcher over the right-center wall to start the eighth inning (the D-Backs took the lead for the remainder of the game). Cue Kenny Loggins, “This is it”! Game over. Look back and see how many times the Dodgers have come back this year to tie or win after eight innings. We’ll help you. They’ve done it once. They did it in Chicago in game one of the series to tie the game in the top of the eighth, but eventually lost in the bottom of the ninth.

The Dodgers obviously have loads of talent, but they don’t have Captain Clutch, a guy everyone in the stands can point to and say “we want him at the plate, he’s our go-to guy.” Gonzalez has had his moments, but it ain’t him. Perhaps, if he wore a red cape with the letters “CC” emblazoned on it…

Turner is probably the most reliable these days, he started the bottom half of the eighth inning with a leadoff double…then three consecutive pop-ups ended it. Final score: Diamondbacks 4, Dodgers 2.

Ryan Braun anyone?

Last year this goofy rag made a case for a trade for Braun. The rumors are flying again that there could be a deal with Milwaukee soon. The Dodgers need Braun.

Fortunately, we don’t think that the Dodgers will have to lose Pederson, the Brewers will probably want an improved Puig, some prospects, etc…we’ll see what happens capn’s (you know the instant Puig is traded to the Brewers, he’ll start hitting over .400)

The Colorado Rockies are in town tonight for a two-game series. Hyun-Jin Ryu (0-2, 5.79 ERA) will take the hill for the Dodgers. Ryu has been as rusty as the Tin Man in a rainstorm…his velocity is way down and the hitters he’s faced have taken full advantage in the form of towering home runs. They’re feasting on his fastballs like fat wads of Hi-Chew Candy. Ryu needs a decent outing tonight to remain in the rotation…

The Rockies will wisely send Kyle Freeland to the hill, he’s the lefty that kept the Dodgers at bay in Colorado on April 7th. Los Dogs only managed to score one run off of him in six innings. Uh-oh…

Will the Rockies rake Ryu to ruin? Will Freeland flambe Forsythe and fraternity? Will rascalsoftheravine drink rye and rile-up Reynolds from the right reserves? Right on!

Until next time, mirth-seekers!

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