Rich Hill Gives Dodger Fans The Middle Finger

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April 17, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith

Hill’s blistered left middle finger has spewed forth misery once again. The Dodger starter lasted only three innings in Sunday’s 3-1 loss to the Diamondbacks. Hill wanted to pitch the fourth inning, but Roberts wisely insisted on taking him out. Hill relented after Roberts promised to take him to Baskin and Robbins after the game, so the boo-boo would feel better.

Poor Hill’s blister problems just won’t go away. We feel bad for the guy, but his pesky pustule is like The Thing That Couldn’t Die!

Will this issue loom over the entire season? How many starts is Hill going to miss throughout ’17 if this thing won’t go away? Will Hill be outfitted with a mechanical mitt like Michael Caine’s in the brilliant film, The Hand?

After Maeda’s shaky start to the season, Hill’s blister issue is another blow to the rotation. We shudder to think what will happen in McCarthy goes down again…

Speak of the devil! Tonight, Los Dogs will send Brandon McCarthy  (2-0 1.50 ERA) to the hill for game four of the series against Arizona. McCarthy has suddenly found himself the second best starter in the Dodger rotation (six scoreless innings at Wrigley in his last start.) Our fingers and toes will remain crossed throughout the entire game in hopes that no health issues arise (we tried crossing our eyes last time, but a staffer suffered serious ocular stress and had to be hospitalized for three days.)

The Diamondbacks will go with “Rotten” Robbie Ray (1-0 2.19 ERA) in what hopes to be a pus free competition. Ray had a decent start last time out versus the Giants as he coughed up zero runs. Managers enjoy that sort of thing.

Until next time, mirth-seekers!

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