Maeda Manhandled Again As Dogs Slash Snakes

Rich Hill gets another start

April 16, 2017 by Shannon Michael Smith

After a lackluster road trip (2-4) Los Dogs returned to L.A. and took care of ex-Dog Greinke on Friday night (final score: 7-1) in a marquee battle-for-the-ages versus Kershaw (which didn’t really live up the the hype, Greinke was knocked around pretty good.) Kershaw tried to hurl a complete game shutout, but was undone in the ninth by a Owings double.

Would the Dodgers be better off if they had kept Greinke? Would Greinke have performed better last season had he stayed with LA? Would we swap him out for Maeda, Kazmir, AND Ryu right this instant?


Yesterday evening the Dodgers walloped the Snakes, 8-4 on some decent hitting from Forsythe, Turner, Hernandez, and Seager. Yasiel Puig sealed the deal with a 3-run shot in the eighth. Wood, Romo, Avilan, and Jansen mopped up nicely after Maeda and allowed zero runs.

Kenta Maeda coughed up four runs in four innings and bloated his ERA up to 7.07 (three games pitched so far.)

Troubling? Yes. Worrisome? Yes. This is the Dodgers #2 man! We knew going into the season that Los Dogs had some pretty shaky customers behind Kershaw, but we expected Maeda to be fine through July…it’s disturbing (say it like Nurse Diesel from “High Anxiety”…dishturbing) to see him struggling so early in the season when he had a fairly decent spring.

Rich Hill (ol’ blister finger) will take the hill at 1:10 today for game three of the four-game set. The Dodgers will be watching carefully to make sure HIS FINGER DOESN’T FALL OFF OR SPONTANEOUSLY EXPLODE!

Seriously, what is the deal with this guy’s finger? Is there another activity besides pitching that chaffs this guy’s digit? Does he pick his nose without abandon like Timmy Lupus? Does he play too many button-masher video games, such as Street Fighter 2? Is he addicted to “Cinemax After Dark”? Inquiring minds want to know!

Taijuan Walker (seriously, TAI-JUAN??? were JAP-JUAN, ROMANNNY-A, and ENGLONNIE taken???) will get the start for the Snakes. He wears #99, just like Ricky Vaughn…sadly, he does not wear horn-rim glasses, ride a hog, or bang big-haired broads of the ‘80s.

Until next time, mirth-seekers!

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