Dodgers Drub Cubs, Silence Schlubs


October 19, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith

The Dodgers have mystified the baseball world. Last night’s 6-0 Cub drub had many-a dopey anchor reaching for their hankies.

“How can WE fix this,” moan the pampered scribes, through teary-eyes…they give the Dodgers no credit. This is a CUBS collapse, as far as they’re concerned…as if winning over 100 regular season games guarantees you a bling-ring at the end of the year…balderdash!

You can’t fix it with your funeral tones, ill-shills, Los Dogs are playing with house money, and there’s a goat that’s waiting in the wings…

Cubs fans that dared venture to Dodger Stadium (google Brian Stow) to haughtily cheer on their “team of destiny” were in for a shock. Beefy brat-heads stumbled out the Ravine last night in a daze, sure that they’d witness an Arrieta A-Bomb, instead Hill hurled six scoreless shockers to silence Chavez tourists.

Blanton (back in the saddle), Dayton, and Jansen mopped up nicely.

Grandal grooved a goner in the 4th (only because there was a questionable 2-2 call, according to scummy scribes, why give Grandal any credit?) Seager had three hits and an RBI, Pederson drove in a run, and Kringle added a little Christmas magic in the sixth with a solo shot that had Santa doing the samba all the way down Vin Scully Ave.

Hey, this thing is FAR from over. It probably will come down to a Game 7, at least a 6. The fact, however, is that if the Dodgers win one more game, it’ll be the most NLCS games they’ve won since ’88.

Fit-to-be-tied freakazoid, John Lackey, will get the start for the Cubs tonight. The Terrible Teen will take the hill for Los Dogs.

Will tacky Lackey chew wacky tobaccy in the sacky? Will the Terrible Teen eat Jimmy Dean with Ellery Queen? Will rascalsoftheravine make the scene with brazen bream? Stay tuned!!! Until tomorrow, mirth-seekers!!!

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