Wa Wa Wigout! Dogs Knee Nats in Nuts

nats-kneed-in-nuts

October 14, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith

What a wild night in Wa Wa! Kershaw the closer??? Jansen the set-up man??? Kringle the clutch??? Well, we know Kringle’s Captain Clutch, his batting average  (.444 in 44 P.A.) in the postseason (career leaders) is numero uno.

In case you missed it, Los Dogs beat the Nats in Game Five last night to advance to the NLCS. The Dodgers have only faced the Cubs once in postseason play (can that be right?) We remember Game Three (Dodgers swept) of the 2008 NLDS, the parking lot at the Ravine rocked for hours after the game. Los Dogs hadn’t been to the NLCS since ’88…the ill Phills sent ‘em packing (ditto for 2009.)

Ya miss Ellis now? How about that Ruiz run!!! Pederson’s jack in the seventh was glorious! Geez, we sound like that old man in the Dodgers’ radio ads (“Kershaw was lights out!”) Okay, whew, we’ve calmed down…Saturday in Chi-Town (city of broads and shoulders) is on the horizon, the entire universe (except So-Cal) will be rooting against Los Dogs…pampered scribes think the Dodgers have zero chance…L.A. will play underdog to the Cubbies, and Bill Murray will don his goat t-shirt as Los Dogs play with house money.

Did we think any of this would happen? No. When you hear quotes from the players like “no one believed we could get here, they’ve doubted us all season”, they’re talking bitter creeps like us. We didn’t think the Dodgers would make the playoffs, let alone win the first round…maybe we should predict a washout in Chicago so that the Dodgers will get to the World Series. The Dodgers won’t get past the Cubs. See! That wasn’t so hard!

Here come the “Hollywood” references by the pampered scribes…they are so freaking stupid and lazy…Hollywood seems a million miles away from anything that happens at the Ravine…do all these bozos think that the beach runs up to Hollywood and that the Walk of Fame ends at Dodger Stadium? There are few celebs at these games. We’d hardly count Dennis Gilbert, Mary Hart, and Larry King as trendy Hollywood scenesters (but we love them anyway.)

We can’t get into pitching alliteration as we don’t know if Maeda will start for sure yet (the bullpen will be well rested by then, Los Dogs will certainly need them to support the ultimate Five-Inning Fanny, Go-Go Maeda.) It looks like Lester the molester will get the start for Chi-Town.

Will the ghost of Harry Carey descend upon Wrigley and get wiggly? Will Bill Murray perform unnatural acts with a goat in a moat? Will the North Side Nine dine on brine? Stay tuned! Until next time, mirth-seekers!!!

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