Nats Nuke Dismal Dodgers, 8-3


October 10, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith

The Dodgers continued their sprint towards another October washout with an 8-3 loss to the Nats today at the Ravine. Sadly, first round exits are becoming par for the course for Los Dogs, a team that hasn’t had a decent playoff run since 1988.

The pampered scribes picked Wash to waste L.A. today, and right they were, although, they actually called Maeda “the Japanese Koufax” during the broadcast…yeah, right, ol’ “Koufax” coughed up four runs in the third inning to put the Nats up ahead for good.

Ruiz hit a two-run blast in the fifth to make it 4-3. The Nats added four more in the ninth off Jansen. Los Dogs’ unclutch bats wilted in the late innings, big shocker…

It’s autumn! That time of year when the colors turn to brown, orange, red, or purple…we’re talking about Bob Costas’ hair, of course…at this point he may just want to go X-Men and lay down a frosty white for winter, Apres-Ski A Go-Go!

Tonight’s Arrieta/Mad Bum battle should be one for the…bums.

All kidding aside, this should be a barnburner…wouldn’t it be great if after nine scoreless innings, the two maniacs concede to abandon the pitching and decide the outcome based on a one-on-one knife fight? Maybe it’s just us…

Tomorrow Los Dogs will throw in the towel by tossing Julio Urias out on the hill, one can imagine he’ll be obliterated by Washington swinging. The funeral begins at 2:00 PM.

Will Urias urge Uruguay to use underwater underwear? Okay, the Nats haven’t announced the starter that will finish the Dodgers tomorrow, so we can’t blow you away with idiotic alliteration about him…prepare for our season-ending report card in a couple of days (it ain’t gonna be pretty) until then, mirth-seekers!

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