Hippy Hypocrite Pummels Flower Child

pagan-molests-fan

Photo by ABC News

October 1, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith

Angel Pagan (you wouldn’t like him when he’s angry) went all Lou Ferrigno on a goofball who ran onto the field last night during the Dodger loss in Fran Fran. Now here’s where it gets dicey, the fan appeared to be wearing blue (no pampered scribe has divulged that the fan was a Dodger supporter, probably because they’re ordered not to give any pub to field crashers) and appeared to hold out a flower to Pagan as some sort of creepy gesture…

Pagan snapped (are the Giants gobbling greenies in the dugout or is Jose Canseco injecting them in the ass with roids? First Mad Bum, now this droolian…we thought S.F. was mellow, geez) and clenched his jaw before body slamming the spindly flower child into the grass like a linebacker (Pagan looks like a rapist in the photo.) It was an ugly mismatch, like watching Mike Tyson punch a baby, the peace-seeker had no chance…

So, “if you’re going to San Francisco, be sure to wear some flowers in your hair…” and perhaps some Chinese throwing stars just in case a member of the Giants body slams you in Ghirardelli Square…

Clayton Kershaw will take the hill for Los Dogs today as they try to knock Fran Fran out of the playoffs…Ty Blach gets the start for the hated ones. Will Blach eat Brachs and Pop Rocks with Bob Rock? Will Kershaw crunch cole slaw in Warsaw with John Law? Will rascalsoftheravine brush with Gleem as we finish our zine? Seen! Until tomorrow, mirth-seekers!

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