Dodgers Shun Dum Dum Scum Mad Bum


September 20, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith

Cue “This Is It” by Kenny Loggins, ‘cause the whole season comes down to these final six games with the hated ones and last night did not disappoint as Los Dogs crushed Giant gonads in the ninth to take the contest, 2-1.

Hey, Mad Bum! We know you’re a mentally challenged (nice beady eyed thousand-yard stare by the way, ya phony) mouth-breather from Hickory, North Carolina, (where they battle giant beavers as children) but to challenge a man that fought sharks barehanded on a raft from Cuba is…par for the course…carry on, Einstein.

Mad Bum’s psycho move is one of the reasons we’ve been looking forward to this series. A pink tea, it isn’t, as these two teams are finally at each other’s throats again (there hasn’t been a lot of bad blood in the other face offs this season) as the season boils down to these remaining five games (the Giants are on the ropes now.)

The tale of the second half can be told by the bullpen, the Dodgers have a rock solid ‘pen, the Giants (as we all witnessed last night) don’t. Kershaw was fine, but all Dodger fans knew he wasn’t getting anywhere past the sixth (we’d be surprised if Roberts himself doesn’t tuck in pitchers every night and jam pacifiers in their mouths.)

Rich Hill (12-4 2.06 ERA) will get the start tonight for Los Dogs. Johnny Cueto will take the hill for the hated ones. Is Rich Hill rich? Does he own a hill? Is Johnny Cueto two letters away from being a mid-shelf tequila? Is Johnny Cueto the name of a Dominican pimp, or a Caribbean version of Arch Hall Jr.? Stay tuned! Until next time, mirth-seekers!

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