Snake Bit! Dogs Split Series in AZ


September 19, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith

Thank God it’s over. We won’t have to look at the Diamondbacks until 2017 (when Los Dogs play them another 16 times…eeeeessshhh.) Don’t worry though, there are still twelve games left, half of which will be played against other division snores, the Padres and the Rockies, yippeeeee!

The good thing is, there are six games left against the hated ones. Los Dogs are either headed to the playoffs, or will participate in a horrible end-of-season collapse.

To say this year is unconventional is a grand understatement. The Dodgers have won with duct tape and gorilla glue. On paper, they stink on ice, yet their five-inning starters have worked, thanks to a rock solid bullpen and some super sticks.

Can the bullpen continue their success into the playoffs? Can the Dodgers best the Cubs’ top three hurlers? Will Dave Roberts take the training wheels off the ankles of his starters?

We get the sense that San Fran gave up on their team after the All-Star break. Gone is the usual hubris, haranguing, and hash breath. If we stopped typing for a minute, we could hear the chorus of crickets from Frisco. What gives, battery chucks?

Britain’s number one male stripper, The Mad Bum, will get the start for the hated ones. Clayton Kershaw will take the hill for Los Dogs.

Will Mad Bum’s balls be bungled by Belt, Blanco, and Brown?  Will Kershaw calypso with Crawford? Will he pulverize Pagan, Panik, Parker, Pence, and Posey? Will rascalsoftheravine stop grinning like idiots over the Rams win yesterday? Stay tuned! Until tomorrow, mirth-seekers!

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