Bronx Bombed as Dogs Spank Yanks, 8-2

bleacher-rat-from-yankee-stadium

September 13, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith

If they make it there, can they make it anywhere?

A giant army of Blue Crew soldiers showed up in the Bronx last night like they owned the place (look up Pantone 294 for more info), we can’t recall a rowdier scene in terms of visiting fans. Ellsbury claimed it was louder than when the Red Sox roll into Yankee Stadium. Dodger fans certainly had plenty to cheer about as they pummeled the Bronx Bombers with bloated bats of their own. Final score: Dodgers 8, Yankees 2.

Everyone but Joc Pederson seemed to get in on the action. The RBI party included Gonzo (79th RBI of the year), Seager (69), Kendrick (36), Puig (40), and Turner (80).

DeLeon gave up two runs in five innings (we’re out of fifth inning jokes) worth of work. Baez, Dayton, Blanton, and Fields all managed scoreless frames.

Ballparks seem to be out of ideas when it comes to wacky theme nights these days. How many freaking Star Wars nights can you have? We’d love to see a Warriors night at Yankee Stadium. Can you imagine? Nothing would make our hearts sing with joy like the sight of the bleachers packed with Baseball Furies clones. They could sell candy switchblades and cigarettes to the kiddos. How come we’re not running a MLB promo department by now? Think of all the wasted ideas!

Teen Titan Julio Urias (5-2 3.69 ERA) will take on C.C. Sabathia (8-12 4.27 ERA) tonight.

Will C.C. suck down Seagrams and seven and sevens before the seventh inning? Will the torpid teenager tango with Texeira and Torreyes? Will rascalsoftheravine get over the hideous Rams loss last night (we doubt it)? Stay tuned! Until next time, mirth-seekers!

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