September 6, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith
Greinke’s grim return to the Ravine yielded five, count em, five home runs as Los Dogs bashed their way to a 10-2 victory over the Arizona Diamondbacks yesterday. We still wish Greinke was in a Dodger uniform, despite all the giant jacks, the team would be better off with him in the rotation (12-5 4.54 ERA…who knows what his numbers would be with a much better team…hint hint it’s Los Dogs).
The win puts the Dodgers four games ahead of the hated ones in the NL West, they’ll need the big margin going into the last six games with them.
Clayton Kershaw is supposed to take the hill against the Marlins on Friday. We did not think that he would return this year, but we’re glad to be proven wrong. Let’s hope that there are no hick ups and he can emerge from the start unscathed. Will he burst into tears at the Ellis-less void left at home plate? Nah, he’s worked fine with Grandal in the past, all should be well.
Los Dogs are supposed to beat up on crummy teams, the series win against the Friars was certainly welcome, a victory today would seal a series win against the Snakes. The Dodgers could use the cushion going into a road trip where they’ll face Mattingly’s Marlins and the Yankees.
Hey! Inquiring minds want to know about the upcoming Mattingly/Puig slumber party! Will there be Fanta Orange in bottles? Bobby Rydell 45s? Twister? Will Puig break out the helicopter for a quick jaunt to Cuba? Will he parachute out of the chopper never to be seen again? Will Toby Keith pilot the chopper? Are pillow pets going to be involved? Is Puig into XBOX, or is he a PS4 man? Can either of them make a decent Cuba Libre? Inquiring minds want to know!
Today Shelby Miller, that great force at the Seven Days Battles who assisted Lee at the Chickahominy River, will take the hill against Ross Stripling, a dangerous drifter known to rob steamboats of their steam.
Will Stripling squire Socrates at his sophist school with Chaerephon? Will Miller make merry with…no, there shall be no merry making, the man is 2-10 with a 6.81 ERA, if Los Dogs can’t take this sucker to task we’ll eat our kepis! Until next time, mirth-seekers!!!