G-Men Beaten as Big Bats Best Mad Bum

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August 23, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith

Back and forth it went.

Los Dogs nipped at Mad Bum’s heels right from the start. In the bottom of the first inning, Seager ripped a two-out double and Turner drove him in a moment later. Segedin hit his second career HR in the second inning much to Vin Scully’s delight (the guy is really into the number two in case you haven’t noticed).

In the third inning, Maeda ran into some trouble and surrendered a single and a walk…a wild pitch landed Giant runners on second and third with one out. It wasn’t long before the game was tied, 2-2.

Seager, Turner, and Gonzalez turned it on again in the bottom of the third to bring the Dodgers up 3-2.

Maeda and Grandal had their signals crossed all night. In the fifth inning, a Pagan single followed by another wild pitch advanced Pagan to second…a ground rule double by Belt tied the game a moment later, 3-3.

Gonzo’s single scored Kendrick and Seager in the fifth to bring Los Dogs ahead again, 5-3.  Jesse Chavez coughed up a run in the sixth to bring the Giants within a run, 5-4.

Andrew Toles (he’s been a monster since he came on board–.326 in 46 ABs) ripped a double in the sixth to score Utley from first and scored a moment later on a Hernandez single…7-4 Dogs (he hit a two-run shot in the bottom of the eighth too…final score, 9-5 Dodgers).

The Dodgers have won their 70th game of the year and are two games up on the hated ones. They’re going to need all the buffer they can get going into the weekend series with the Cubs…these next two games are crucial.

With Anderson and Kazmir on the DL, Culberson was called up earlier today. Luis Avilan was also called up from his lucrative high heel shoe and boot business (see attached photo) to join the bullpen.

Blister-riddled Rich Hill will make his Dodger debut on Wednesday. After Hill and Maeda, the rest of the rotation is like The Riddler’s costume: giant question marks. Urias? Norris? Stripling???????????????????????????????????????????????

Let’s get back to Vin Scully’s number two obsession…don’t go there creeps, we mean it, his whole “deuces are wild” thing is nutty. What does it all mean? He absolutely freaked out when the score reached 2-2 tonight, as if he was waiting for it. Room 222 must have been his favorite TV show from 1969-1974! We have to wonder if Scully has a lost twin, or if his nickname was “snake eyes” in grade school.

Rich Hill makes his Dodger debut tomorrow; they’ve been nursing his blistered fingers since he came over in a trade with the A’s a few weeks ago. Johnny Cueto will get the start for the Giants.

Will Hill’s pus-filled pitches blister the bastards of the bay? Will Johnny Cueto dole Dominican doom on the Dodger dugout? Is Vin Scully’s top tune “Tea for Two”? Stay tuned! Until next time, mirth-seekers!

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