Stripling Buggered by Pirates, Keith Richards Spotted Fleeing Stadium

Dodger Buggerer

August 13, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith

The Pirates plundered Stripling for three runs in the first inning and never looked back on their way to a 5-1 victory over the Dodgers. At least Stripling pitched seven innings, he froze Buccaneer bats in the second, fourth, fifth, and sixth, but coughed up a single run in the third and seventh for a five ER night.

Los Dogs need to BUC-kle down if they don’t want to lose this series and their heated proximity on the hated ones. Another loss would also make it three-in-a-row…

The Grim Mortician (McCarthy is 2-2 with a 3.00 ERA) will take the hill for the Dodgers today. Gerrit Cole (7-7 2.94 ERA) gets the start for the Pirates. Gerrit Cole is the type of name that was invented at the bottom of a hidden moonshine hole in the sticks! Was pappy brewin’ up a storm that night? Pappy Cole was in search of a name that rhymed with ferret or carrot…

Will morose McCarthy the mortician mercifully maneuver his off-target offerings? Will Cole’s moonshine hole produce prodigious pop ups for pappy’s profit? Stay tuned! Until next time, mirth-seekers!

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