Michael Mayers Escapes Smith’s Grove, Will Pitch for Cardinals Today


July 24, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith

Maeda didn’t go six innings (Dodger starters have problems getting past the fifth), but he did get the win in a 7-2 victory over the St. Louis Cardinals yesterday (he also earned a RBI on a squeeze bunt, then later scored.) Kringle delivered two gifts in the third, Pederson drove in a run, and Gonzalez hit his eighth blast of the year (where hath all the power gone, Gonzo?)

Rarely do pampered scribes reveal personal hatreds towards other organizations, so it was refreshing to see Ned Colletti and Jerry Hairston Jr. discuss their absolute loathing of the St. Louis Cardinals. Smug hubris has a knack of rubbing people the wrong way, and the Cardinals have done just that for a long time (not to mention best the Dodgers in the postseason). Hairston and Colletti didn’t spend much that much time on the subject in the closing segment of the pregame show Friday, their comments were brief. “I hate the uniform,” were the words the Colletti chose, but we get the feeling he’s referring to the holier-than-thou “Cardinal Way” crap the redbirds are always flinging in our faces. Chris Correa’s prison stint might calm St. Loooooo down a bit, but we doubt it.

Scott Kazmir (he actually made it into the seventh in his last start) will face newbie Mike Mayers today in the rubber match. We’ll admit it, Mayer’s moniker makes us giddy for Goldmember, Halloween, or at least Nancy Loomis (she was hot in that movie, admit it…)

Will Kazmir best the crests of crimson-colored cardinal chordata? Will Mike Mayers murder many SoCal swingers at Smith’s Grove Sanitarium? Yeah, baby! Until next time, mirth-seekers!


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