Ryu Returns to DL, Ramen Profits Tumble

ryu happy noodle boy

July 20, 2016 by Shannon Michael Smith

Left elbow tendinitis sends Hyun-Jin Ryu’s ramen-peddling butt back to the 15-day DL (see Ryu’s ramen ad on YouTube if you haven’t already, it’s hilarious). Will Jin Ramen’s profits tumble? How has Ryu’s absence in the rotation over the last year affected the company? Inquiring minds want to know!

After letting the series slip away in Arizona, the Dodgers took game one of the set in Washington last night, 8-4.

Joc Pederson returned to the lineup and drove in a couple of runs in the top of the first inning. Utley smashed a leadoff home run and Grandal knocked one out in the ninth.

It seemed as if Scott Kazmir’s night was over in the fifth inning due to leg cramps, but a concoction of several old world fluids and condiments seemed to do the trick (Alex Putterman reported spicy mustard and pickle juice). Kazmir lasted seven innings and surrendered only one earned run on four hits (he had eight strikeouts to boot).

The bullpen fell prey to a Trea Turner triple (with two on base) off Chris Hatcher in the bottom of the eighth, which brought the game to 7-3. Daniel Murphy doubled in Turner off Liberatore later in the inning to bring it to 8-4, but Jansen sealed the deal for the Dogs in the ninth to secure the win.

Norris will take the hill for the Dodgers today. His last start in Arizona was pretty decent, so we’ll see if he can follow that up with a series win in Washington. It’ll be a tough task for Los Dogs against Nats starter Gio Gonzalez. He’s owned the Blue Crew with a 1.73 ERA in four starts.

Did you know that Nationals Park is the “first LEED-certified green major professional sports stadium in the United States”?

You can actually take the Green Line to get there. Players regularly help themselves to “Greenies” in the dugout, and in President Underwood’s private box, it is said that all the green M&Ms are separated into tiny green bowls.

We watched five seconds of a Yankee highlight last night and immediately appreciated Joe Davis. Yes, we ripped the hell out of Joe in April and questioned the decision to place him in such a lofty position with the Dodgers at such a young age. We also called him soulless and creepy. However, five seconds of a Michael Kay soundbite will send anyone scrambling for a Joe Buck clone, stat. Davis actually has a nice, dry sense of humor too, which plays well with Hershiser. Let’s just say he’s growing on us.

Will Norris navigate through the Navy Yard and nastily nip Nat nailers? Will Gio watch Captain Eo and doom the Dodgers with flying fuzzballs? Will rascalsoftheravine reap ramen rewards at Ralphs? Stay tuned! Until next time, mirth-seekers!

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